There hasn't been too much excitement to blog about lately. Since ending field, I have been tirelessly reading self-help books working on mindfulness to cure the catastrophizing that comes with the daily grind of RSD. One can't help but project into the future when the prognosis for this illness is usually grim. My goal is to be happy, and to be happy with this illness for the rest of my life (god forbid), it is imperative I focus on the present moment. If there is one thing I live by, it is gratitude, because even through my writing, it is hard to understand how lucky I really am to have all that I do in my life. When living a life of gratitude (every day), you can't help but be content. I can't tell you how many times others ask me, "How do you stay so positive?" Gratitude is my big secret. When you are focusing on what you are grateful for, you aren't focusing on the negatives in your life. It's really that simple.
Today, I am thankful that I am even mobile at all. I was watching television, and a young veteran from Iraq lost both of his legs and had a better attitude than most Americans, even the lucky ones.
Off to a long day at school. I see a lot of pain medicine in my near future, but again, I thank the universe that I am even mobile at all :-)
4 comments:
I am SO proud of you!!
The only thing you can control is the present moment that you are in. Focusing on the "near" future is an option, but long range is something you should put on your Vision Board or Goals Sheet/Notebook. That way you get it out of your head, on paper, and make room in your mind to focus more completely on controlling the very moment you are in!!
You are definitely a 'shinning' testimonial to what staying in the positive can do for one's day....and life!!
Keep Smiling, Stay Focused, & Stay Strong!!
Much Love & Respect,
Coach Marla
Maria, you are... I hate to use the word almost, because it can sound trite and condescending, but in your case it's so fitting: you ARE an inspiration! To me and many others, I know it. :)
Yes, it would be easy to catastrophize and sink into depression, not caring... but we canNOT really predict the future. Who truly knows what it holds? How close are we to discovering wonderful new techniques to stop the pain cycle for people like us - and countless others - nevermind better medications?!
And for the real, 'now' questions of pain control: I know someone who has recently started taking methadone after trying pretty much everything (most of which left her spaced-out and sleeping all the time) and for the first time in a long time, her partner reports that it's 'like she woke up' and is PRESENT once again. It's managing the pain, for real.
There is this stigma with this med, like so many other opiates, but if it is the one which works for you, then it's worth finding out.
I had similar fears trying OxyContin, as it had gotten a bad rap in the media from people abusing it. But you know what? It has been a great addition to my meds 'combo' and hasn't added any side effects, save for a very slight occasional extra sleepiness in the evening (when I need to sleep anyway!). It does not make me feel 'high' and I don't feel any need to overuse or abuse it whatsoever - I take it for real pain in a safe, sensible way, as you would, too.
The point I was trying to make and am rambling toward is that we sometimes have these ideas or blocks in our heads like "I'll NEVER do xxxxx!" or "Gosh, I couldn't handle if I had to live like xxxxxx!" But the truth is, we CAN and HAVE been living with these things we would never thought we could bear... and if we allow ourselves to close off to potential paths in our lives, we may be missing out on what we need most.
Does that make sense, I hope?
You were on your determined journey to finish - no, EXCEL beyond all expectations (mostly your own?!) in field. Your bar is set so high and you've always cleared it through your sheer determination and strong will.
However, there is no shame in realizing there are OTHER bars, not just the option of lowering the bar!
Meeting your goals NOW is what you're doing; right now, you need to get some things working better so that later you can come back in and finish those field hours like we know you can - with excellence.
Your bar isn't lowered, it's just showing you other bars to leap now!
And I know your focus on the present moment/mindfulness and gratitude are indeed powerful and excellent things to be working on.
Indeed, I am doing the same!
Oh, and that's not 'nothing' to write about! It's THE most important thing! :)
How goes the detox? Any news from the naturopath? I hope you're enjoying your juicing and are doing well with your raw and vegan foods.
Many gentle hugs of support and love!
Lisa
PS My word verification is 'aproudam'; sometimes I like to read things into these 'words' and in this one, I see PROUD. This might seem negative, but can be positive, too, I think! I see your pride in acheiving, in doing your best and always wanting to improve. I'm PROUD of you, too!
Hey Tough Cookie: My hat's off to you. Though my struggles haven't been physical struggles, I've had more than my share last year. You talked about Gratitude being the secret and I think you hit the mark. I thought to send you this, which I found last year. It's a message about Joy. I hope it blesses you as much as it did me. http://victoryatl.com/p/12162/MediaID/139/Default.aspx?ReturnUrl=LwBwAC8AMQAyADEANAAwAC8AUwBlAGEAcgBjAGgALwBqAG8AeQAvAEQAZQBmAGEAdQBsAHQALgBhAHMAcAB4AD8AUgBlAHQAdQByAG4AVQByAGwAPQBMAHcAQgBFAEEARwBVAEEAWgBnAEIAaABBAEgAVQBBAGIAQQBCADAAQQBDADQAQQBZAFEAQgB6AEEASABBAEEAZQBBAEEAcwBsAGEAcwBoAEEASABBAEEAUABRAEEAeABBAEQARQBBAE8AUQBBADUAQQBEAGcAQQA%253d
BTW, you can find Johnson at http://www.fusionatl.org/p/12081/Default.aspx.
From a guy who found your website by accident. Hang in there. :) Glenn
I been struggling with RSD for a year now.....I understand what u are going through....thanks for sharing!
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