Yesterday, after sleeping over 12 hours (yes, i know, wow!), I rolled over, opened my drawer, fisted five pills, and took them like a seasoned drinker throws back a shot of tequila. The fourty-five painful minute drive up to campus included bumper to bumper traffic at 3PM... huh? As I sat in a sea of automobiles, I felt a twinge of nervousness because I knew once I got to my destination, I might be gifted my single case design paper on chornic pain and CBT. You see, I never give myself any credit, and I'm still not sure why, but despite my lack of confidence, I received a PERFECT paper back from my prof!!!! Not one mark on it!!!! A 100%!!!!!
I'm obviously very intelligent if I made it to graduate school. That much I know... but because I spend my days pushing through severe pain and spending three times the amount of energy normal people spend on attempting to concentrate (thanks to vicodin), even I can't believe I will be so successful.
Basically, I am shamelessly plugging my awesome-ness :-) GO ME!!!!
One week and two exams left! I suspect a big crash after this is all done.
6 comments:
You deserve it and so much more! I am so so proud of you and so happy to be your friend. There is almost nothing as good as getting a wonderful grade to remind you that you are actually still capable (and in your case way more than just capable) of achieving just like everybody else.
You go girl!!!!
Hope the rest of your finals go just as well so you can take a well earned break over your summer.
You are full of 'awesomeness' and, well it just shows you what a bunch of meds, determination and true grit can do when you want something so much.
Did I say just how proud of you I am?
Hi Maria,
Congratulations on your paper!!
I just turned in my big paper today and I have two exams next week just like you. I am totally inspired and impressed by all that you are doing. A break this summer will be well deserved :)
Whooeee, lady! Of COURSE you're very intelligent - that's crystal clear having read your blog for the last year or so! :)
YES!!! on that perfect paper! KICK ASS, GRRRL! :D
But I hears ya on the fisting of the pills... I have my own share (as you know) and, as mentioned, it's surely not too much fun to have that become as routine as brushing our teeth. Sigh. ONE DAY... :) Hope! Faith!
GOOD FOR YOU for getting 12 hours; I was just telling the psychologist I see at the pain program I've been attending that my formerly-quoted need for 10 hours per night is really more like 12 (I've been missing my naps, which took place while my son was at school in the time recently when I wasn't working...). She took great notes about my needs re: the program and getting my rest, which she is a 'big advocate for'. As we know, if we don't get good *rest* (not just sleep, but actual rest) we have no chance at keeping any balance with pain, flares and well, LIFE, right?!
That you're balancing all this on the head of a pin - and doing it PERFECTLY, might I say! - sounds likely that you'll need to allow yourself that SAFE, planned 'crash'. Get ready for it, plan for it, but please: plan for it to be better than you fear it might be... focus on lots and lots of sleep, snuggles with your lovey dovey puppy, eating yummy, cleansing raw foods and live juices and the more sleep!
YOU. DESERVE. IT. (and need it, too!).
We're ALL so proud of you! I know that when/if I decide to return to school, I CAN do it and I will make sure to remember all that you've learned and shared as valuable lessons.
You are gonna make one kick-ass MSW, girlie! SO PROUD!
LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE!
Lisa
Yes, you are awesome.
great post! good luck with your exams
http://balmainbazaar.blogspot.com/
I back your awesomeness!! Congratulations on your success, especially considering it meant 45min commuting, that's tough! Is the oral morphine helping your pain at all?
-Caf xx
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