Tuesday, May 19, 2009
Meet My Friends Morphine And Enbrel
**This is what I am wearing today. I like to dress up when I feel awful, even if I am just sitting on my couch all day. I should probably take more than one photo and put some makeup on so I don't look how I feel, but oh well... Like I care at this point in my life.
This is what I LOVE about my life... after I declared myself safe on "home base" (aka my couch) only to wander away from it to eat and use the bathroom, my fiance came over to wipe my tears away and make me laugh all evening. PLUS, my dad bought me this new bathing suit that I was able to pick out for our new pool :-) (MAJOR sales at VS). They both know how to make me smile... oh, and I also picked up this hottie tottie AA dress in light pink. The color reminded me of the gorgeous flowered bushes outside my front door.
A lot has happened since I have woken up from a painless slumber. You'd think I would wish to always be dreaming since it is the only time I have no pain, but I love engaging life too much for that to become my only desire. My morphine has been increased to 10mg, but after having a long conversation with the nurse, it became clear that she is not counting on the morphine to be my liberator. I am to call if this increase does not help so that I can get in to see my doctor earlier than scheduled.
Also, my father did some research, and we are off to see the rheumatologist who diagnosed me with RSD due to my raised antinuclear antibodies and the obvious discoloration. Research is proving RSD to be autoimmune, and when you stare a wheelchair in the face every single day, you begin to think outside of the box. We are hoping to try the immune suppressant, Enbrel, with my young doctor who seems to be willing to think outside of the box with me and my desperation.
I am already on borrowed time.
I am so friggen lucky that I have health insurance. I am so grateful for that every single day.