**This is a great little silk onesie that I spilt dressing all over... I do that a lot.
Yesterday was a lovely day... I found organic cherries, slayed the pain dragon for the first time in weeks (I guess resting is a good thing...), snuggled with my fur baby while watching Oprah talk about vegans, caught up with my mommy on the way to my psychiatrist ;-), received my hottie tottie AA dress on my front door step, ran around Whole Foods with my fiance, Patrick, picking out vegan desserts, laughed until my face hurt, and laughed some more (Patrick is hilarious!), told my parents how much I adore them, cried tears of overwhelming joy for the support that surrounds me, and caught up on trashy reality tv shows.
Part of the reason why I feel like my old self again is because I am titrating down off of the morphine. Patrick commented on how nice it was to not be with Dr. Jekyll and Ms. Hyde anymore, although he did admit that I was still pleasant as usual, but had the ability to snap at any moment, which is NOT me AT ALL. The morphine made me very very agitated the more I titrated up on the dosage, and it was honestly very difficult for me to feel that way. I am thrilled to be recapturing the often elated and lovable me :-)
I am currently in the middle of having conversations with the graduate school field education office and the disability office to create a plan for myself so that I may finish my graduate degree in a way that... well... doesn't make me want to jump off of a bridge!!!!
Here is a quick boo hoo session: Do any of you RSDers/chronic illness conquerers in school, graduate or other, ever become totally sick of talking about it?!?! Every meeting is another chance to talk, talk, talk about our stupid conditions, and at this point, I would like to be done talking and just finish my degree... Ok, done
:-) Thank you. In order to get the assistance we need, talking must be done.
Happy Wednesday!
7 comments:
Sounds like a great day - sorry to hear about your disease...I know how debilitating disabilities can be, and though my club feet pale in comparison to your struggles, I feel for ya! Keep up the positive attitude, your blog is a breath of fresh air :)
Hey! I thought I'd show some love and awarded you One Lovely Blog Award! Holler! =)
http://hoisinivy.blogspot.com/2009/05/im-on-boat.html
Glad you had a lovely day! That dog is way too cute!
I'm glad you're having a better day. :)
I get sick of having to explain it to people who should understand (or at least know what its like), I get sick of being made to feel like somehow I have created the pain by being emotionally unstable. I get sick of it singling me out when unrelated things happen (others can faint on clinical placement and not be summoned for meetings but I blackout because I stand up too quick during a private physio appointment and it gets turned into I am 'unsafe' around patients). I get sick of 'friends' downplaying how I am feeling and not understanding that standing up actually hurts A LOT or that 3 hours without my TENs can make a difference to how I function etc, I get sick of people treating me like I am fragile and not capable and so not let me do things. I get sick of a certain person in a position of power at the school having what I think is a personal issue with me and it is jeopardizing my future....I could go on. Ok sorry I have taken over your rant!
I'm so glad that you resting is having positive benefits that you are able to notice. Your Pat sounds like just what you need to keep your spirits high, when I hear how good you two are it gives me hope that I may find someone eventually.
I hope your meeting went as well as my disability office meeting went, I really like my student advisor there so I hope you have that same kind of relationship. I really hope they are able to come up with a game plan that works for you without making you feel exposed, something that I think is really important.
Take care and I am so thankful for your continuing support.
PS...sorry for the novel lol
What a fantastic day! Nothing like good laughs and some nice organic and vegan desserts & fruits.
I'm glad to hear that you're back to your cheerful-self, and that you're concentrating on graduating. =)
Yay! to feeling better, to ridding yourself of bipolar moodiness brought on by meds (my term; I've felt that, too! I go NUTS. Ugh).
MMMM, organic cherries! :P Yay, lovely partner! And fur baby! DOUBLE yay for resting and relaxing!
Yay talking to school and finding what will work!
Now, I can't say I'm in school for those endless meetings, but having been in this intense, workers' comp paid/contracted rehab program for over a month, getting messages about the pain being something I can 'just forget about' as though if I work harder to ignore it, it won't be an issue...
Every day there I've got to deal with my team, including a physio, a kinesiologist, the doc (supposed to be a CRPS/RSD expert - a sports med specialty, allegedly), an OT, the program coord (another kinesi)and a pain psychologist... who all meet weekly and discuss each client's case. Which is good that they're in close communication. The bad? I think they're very 'motivated' to make sure they get great results with each client...
But this is a post I'm supposed to be writing on my own blog; whoops!
But yes, I also meet with two of my team members weekly (or am supposed to) to discuss my progress, any goals and issues, etc. Funny, since on one hand I'm supposed to be 'ignoring' the pain and not focussing on it - and I'm apparently suffering from a 'heightened disability perception'! - I spend an AWFUL lot of time talking about, meeting about and learning about my PAIN PAIN PAIN! GAAAH!
So, I guess I can relate on the meetings, in a way... sorry, if Alessea writes novels, I write dictionaries! Big, thick, Oxford ones - but with poor grammar and typos! :P
Post a Comment