I want to thank everyone for reaching out to me with your candid e-mails and for following me on Twitter. Please, do not hesitate to contact me through my e-mail if you would like to chat, need support, or just want to say hello. It is not a burden whatsoever, and I really value your experiences and feelings.
Lately, I have been experiencing a level of acceptance that I have never felt before, living moment by moment, even when the moments contain those oh-so-frightenng pain flares. Instead of the usual "freak out" containing racing thoughts of "what if the pain doesn't go back down" and "what if I am getting worse," my mind has simply gone, "OK, I'm in a pain flare," and I patiently adjust my activities and wait until it is over. Perhaps, after five years of pain, I am finally getting used to this whole up and down, back and forth of chronic illness? Maybe. Or, perhaps, I am finally recognizing that I haven't self-destructed yet, so far? Yea, that's possible. My mind does wander into the future occassionally, but it is spending most of its time in the NOW. FINALLY!
I have written about my struggle with living in the moment before, but no matter how badly I practiced, prayed, desired for the ability to not project years into the future with RSD, it never worked. It has only come with time, just as any acceptance of the conditions of this illness has.
Here are some photos taken today with the baby and my man. Enjoy!
Happy Healing!
8 comments:
Hi Maria,
Finding peace in the present moment is something that I have learned because of RSD. I don't think that I ever truly appreciated it before.
I love your blog and the pictures from today- it looks like a wonderful day!
I am still working on this. I get frustrated when people tell me to live in the moment. I have always been a big dreamer so it's hard for me to have to stop looking ahead so much.
Thank you, Zoey! Same to you!
Bitt, you can still have big dreams and live in the moment. It's always great to learn from the past, live for the moment, and PREPARE for the future... not obsess over it, ya know?
Hi Maria,
I've found your blog through the Crazy Sexy Life community and this is my first time commenting. I just want to say that I admire your strength, intelligence and your love of life. You are an example to many people and I just want to say thank you:) I also went to grad school and I know how demanding it can be most of the time. Best of Luck to you!
Olive, what a beautiful message! Thank you so much for reading my blog and commenting. I am so happy that my experiences mean something to you :-)
Maria, your photos are adorable and gorgeous - as always!
I'm glad to hear of your grown sense of acceptance and peace - being in the moment. It's something to strive for, indeed and I believe it's a difficult struggle for many and possibly more so for those of us with chronic illnesses, etc.
I've been living with CRPS/RSD for 3.5 years now; maybe in the next year to year-and-a-half I'll be at that place, too! Haha...
Seriously, I 'should' write this as a post of my own (where my head - and body - has been of late) because it's a very important topic and one worth sharing, I think.
(I've been feeling low often and am struggling with my 'natural' optimisim. Still optimistic, but as we've discussed, sometimes we need to be allowed to express 'down' times...).
Anyway, for all reasons, it is so important to be able to appreciate the moment. Something to think about. :)
Lisa, I am so sorry you are having a difficult time right now. I think it is normal to go through that ebb and flow with this disease... it is always here and we never ever get a break. I think the more time goes on, the more acceptance you will have, and me, too. I think as time goes by, I will gain even more acceptance. It really truly does just take time as we go through the natural progresion of acceptance. Lots of love!
It's always so hard getting one's mind around a flare! My doc has asked me to think of it as a temporary lowering of my pain tolerance rather than thinking of it as an increase in pain...for some reason thinking of it this way helps me not to get so freaked out by it. I'm just like 'OK, today I am more sensitive but if I take care of myself I'll feel better tomorrow'. Not always possible to get into this positive frame of mine but the more I practise the easier it's getting...so grateful to finally have a doctor that actually helps me deal! much love xx
Post a Comment