Plug For A Friend

My gorgeous, leggy friend, Lindsey, has just started her own blog full of goldendoodles and fashion. Sounds perfect to me! Hop on over!

http://knowwhoyouareanddoitonpurpose.blogspot.com

Break Out The Green Juice!

I should be editing my last paper of the semester, but instead I am shamelessly watching The Real Housewives of NYC and cruising the internet for raw food recipes and new pain medication... a strange combo. I have been in a wicked pain flare since Friday, and I owe it all to my overzealous nature. The moment I feel a twinge of relief, I have to go overextend myself and ruin the fun of not being in horrendous pain. I have to give RSD credit, this is a horrible one and it is really going the distance :-( Crap. RSD is like a 105 pound distance runner... it has some sick stamina and a crazy stride.

Monday, I hit up the pain management specialist for the first time in months. My regime is no longer working for me, and I need stronger pain relief, PRONTO! I'm a pretty tough chickadee, but this is getting to be too damn much.

To all my RSDers in the blogosphere, I am on my knees begging for forgiveness. I have not caught up on your latest entries, but I will in the next few days.

Tomorrow, I hand in my last paper of the semester, and next Thursday is my last final of my first year of graduate school!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Can I get a HELL YEA!!!!!!!!! Break out the green juice, and let's celebrate!!!!

Back to editing. Bah.

My Little (or huge) Love

What a pal... too bad he can't write papers. We all know the joys of having a little fur baby to greet us at the door when we return home from a long day or even a short run to the pharmacy (or some other place chronic pain-ers go often!), but for those of us reading who are ill in some fashion (yes, let's use the word "fashion." sounds fierce!), pets have been proven to lower blood pressure, reduce anxiety, and promote relaxation. Soooo, snuggle your fur babies tonight, big or small, and if you are in pain, give them some kisses, too.

True Grit

True grit exists in the day to day behavior of those who face overwhelming challenges but still insist on sucking the marrow out of the bone of life instead of settling for scraps. True grit is speaking up to a doctor who must cover his ego because he can’t find out what is wrong with you and tells you it’s “all in your head.” It takes true grit to walk in to a new doctor’s office after experiencing a put down like that. Courage is the individual who, after a restless, pain-filled night still reaches for the alarm clock, gets out of bed and stumbles or limps to the bathroom to take the morning medications, to face a new day. Courage, valor and hope lie deep within us and we will find the seeds of their existence if we have the grit to look and don’t bury ourselves in denial, a bottle of liquor or an extra, dangerous dose of pain pills. Courage is not the absences of fear. It is walking into the face of fear and smacking it in the face. Courage is quiet and at other times, grand. It’s still courage. True grit tackles the hard way, if necessary, not the easy way. Courage is doing what you know, deep in your being, is best. Courage finds a way to go forward whether it is upright, on a crutch, in a wheelchair or at a crawl.

Beautifully said by Sue Falkner-Wood at Chronic Pain Blog(http://www.everydayhealth.com/blog/life-with-chronic-pain/it-takes-true-grit-to-live-a-life-with-chronic-pain/).

This is chronic pain. This is RSD. This is us. We flash a smile, and we continue on because that is the only option (being depressed isn't an option to me anymore, but being grateful is).

Updates

Hello, devoted readers! I'm in the woman-eating, or man-eating when applicable, fog of finals time in graduate school, but doing well. I manage :-) I am working on a final paper in my Research Methods I course, and the topic I chose to research is a single case design on "Is CBT an effective treatment for chronic pain?" It's wonderful researching topics you actually give a doodie about, unlike the last decade of school years being tide down to subjects that made me snore.

Gratefully, my dad pointed me toward an article about Michael J. Fox and his dance with Parkinson's Disease after reading my last blog entry. He said, "He sounds like you," so I petitioned my mom for her Good Housekeeing promising I would give it back so she could save the recipes. Cute mommy :-)

Michael J. Fox describing what he sees when he looks in the mirror upon waking from the only time he is symptom free, pure sleep (all RSDers know that feeling, too): "This reflected version of myself, wet, shaking, rumpled, pinched, and slightly stooped, would be alarming were it not for the self-satisfied expression pasted across my face. I would ask the obvious question: 'What are you smiling about?' but I already know the answer. It just gets better from here."

I love it. Love it, love it, love it. This is not the end of our lives, it's the beginning of a new chapter. Make it a good one.

My update is that I am continuing on with chelation 3x a week now to finish cleaning out this bod of mine. In the last 24 hours, I have had three people tell me how great I look, especially my skin, hair, and eyes. Today, one of my doctors said, "There is something different about you. Your eyes look bright and clear." I think the chelation is working :-)

My diet is still 90% raw, and I drink at least 16oz of green juice a day. I slipped with some sugar recently, and the candida is rearing its ugly little head again, so back to a strict no-crap-sugar policy. Some fruits are allowed.

That is all!

Working on my paper and heading to Whole Foods with a friend this evening for some veggies.

Living Gratitude

There hasn't been too much excitement to blog about lately. Since ending field, I have been tirelessly reading self-help books working on mindfulness to cure the catastrophizing that comes with the daily grind of RSD. One can't help but project into the future when the prognosis for this illness is usually grim. My goal is to be happy, and to be happy with this illness for the rest of my life (god forbid), it is imperative I focus on the present moment. If there is one thing I live by, it is gratitude, because even through my writing, it is hard to understand how lucky I really am to have all that I do in my life. When living a life of gratitude (every day), you can't help but be content. I can't tell you how many times others ask me, "How do you stay so positive?" Gratitude is my big secret. When you are focusing on what you are grateful for, you aren't focusing on the negatives in your life. It's really that simple.

Today, I am thankful that I am even mobile at all. I was watching television, and a young veteran from Iraq lost both of his legs and had a better attitude than most Americans, even the lucky ones.

Off to a long day at school. I see a lot of pain medicine in my near future, but again, I thank the universe that I am even mobile at all :-)