Favorite Q&A's

Hi, healers! I wanted to share with you some of the great Q&A's on my formspring page that I think many of you will benefit from. Keep the great questions coming! I am happy to answer them for you.

RSD has taught you a great deal! How have you taught yourself to detach from your ego so someone can be very negative towards you and not affect you? Any tips?

RSD has been my greatest teacher and gift. It takes a lot of practicing self-awareness. Learning what makes you tick and why you do what you do. It takes a lot of effort, and it is very hard work. I worked with a mental health therapist years ago (and now I'm studying to be one at the masters level) and now with a spiritual counselor for guidance. You have to take everything you have ever been taught by your parents and society and throw it out. It is like being an infant again and learning new belief systems that will help you toward your highest good. Reading spiritual texts have been helpful for me (more new age stuff). Understanding that the reason why anyone would ever say anything negative about you is because there is something going on inside them that has nothing to do with you. People who are happy, peaceful, and connected to others don't judge others so harshly. It will be important for you to learn not to take things personally. Also, something inside of you is attracting these negative people to you (self-judgment, negativity, depression, anger, etc.). Finding out what that is and working through it will make all the difference. I only attract positive people to me now. Like attracts like. It is so amazing when you see the results first hand. My life has totally changed, and it is amazing.

I have someone in my life who is manipulative and is making my life hell You say in your blog to rid yourself of people with negetive energy to help heal yourself but what can u do when there really is nothing u can do to get that person out of your life

Then you have to change the way you react to them if you cannot change them or the situation. The only thing you have control over in life are your feelings and actions. You will have to practice techniques and learn more about yourself in order to not let others affect you. At this point in my life, someone could be standing infront of me telling me I am a loser, and it wouldn't affect me in the slightest. Detaching from my ego and judgment of self and others was key for this. I don't take anything personally because I understand the motives behind negative actions. They are never about me, and always about the other. I have become so secure with who I am, that nothing, not even some negative energy could shake that. I am a child of God and that gives me all the power I need.

Are they days when you are just too ill to function and how do you cope/deal with those days?

Not so much anymore now that I met my holistic doctor, but yes, A LOT before her. I'd have a good cry, talk to someone who loves me about it to release that energy, and settle down with some good tv, movies, books, magazines, etc. I tell myself I know it is only temporary, and I will feel better soon. I just need to get through the next X hours or days. Focus on what I am grateful for, etc.

How do you psychologically deal with the intense pain of CRPS?

Distractions, socializing, talking about my frustrations, pain medications, meditation, prayer, doing things that I enjoy, mental health and spiritual therapy, learning to detach from my physical body (you are not your body, but the divine soul that inhabits it), reframing, focusing on what I am grateful for, listening to music, petting my puppy, experiencing love, etc.

You suggest not to isolate yourself but when you have a chronic illness it really limits what you can do so it is difficult to maintain, let alone initiate, friendships. I often have to decline offers- people give up on me even if i explain why i say no.

Have you invited them to come sit with you and watch a movie or get some tea or coffee? If that is how they are reacting, they aren't the friends for you. When you become ill, you find out who your true friends are. It is a blessing. Now, I have a handful of really wonderful, extraordinary friends who love me unconditionallly. Conditional friendship isn't worth the effort. Cut them loose and work on the ones that matter.

How do you cope in times of depression?

Therapy. It saved me. Also, spiritual counseling. We need help through times of depression. We can't do it alone, and learning the tools so that you can get through it yourself the next time is soooo priceless. Also, don't isolate. It's so easy to with this illness, but we need the love and support from others. Focus on what you are grateful for in your life, and see everything as a lesson. Looking for that lesson makes the negative times seem positive because you are learning something valuable.

How do YOU define spiritualism?

A connection to your core self (your truth, who you really are outside of your earthly body and human ego), a connection to others, and a connection to a higher power (whatever that may be for you - a man in the sky, an energy). Self-actualization and enlightenment are strived for in the process of life. That is what spirituality is to me.

In response to the siblings question I asked are they're actually ALOT older than me - in they're 30s I have two brothers and one sister Any advice to make them realize it's not for attention? Thanx

Wow, that is surprising! Other than having honest conversations with them and trying to educate them, there may not be much you can do right now. You can't control the way they react to you, but you can control the way you react to them. If they truly love you, they will come around. If not, perhaps it is better this way. They don't sound like healthy additions to your healing journey. You only need to be surrounded by people that support you. YOU may need to cut them off for awhile until you heal. It may be difficult, but illness is never easy, and sometimes, we need to be selfish in order to heal.

How much alternative healing have you done? I think I might have read a while back that you did some acupuncture... did you have an results from that? Would you suggest it? What would your advice be to people who are feed up with the western med. system?

I've tried just about everything within reason. I would suggest seeing a natural practitioner with a traditional medical background so he/she can do a full work up on you but treat you using mostly holistic measures. Once I got my hormones back up to where they should be, I started feeling so much better. Other than that, realizing that constantly looking outside of myself for the cure was getting me nowhere was a big realization for me. I had to look within first for anything without to work. I'd give acupucnture a try, but if it flares you too badly, than stop immediately. Look for non-invasive ways to get energy to flow, i.e. reiki, meditation, etc. Keep the faith, and find someone you trust to treat you. Don't settle for anything less than the best treatment.

How do you deal with people who tell you that you look fine and should just suck it up?

We can't please everyone. Some people will never get it. What is important is that you surround yourself with the people who do get it. Education is important, so educate those who you want to understand. If they love and respect you, they will understand it for you. I now take it as a compliment. I look so good that no one knows I am sick! I'd rather it be this way.

If you were applying for a new job would you tell your potential employer about your RSD straight away? How much info would you give them?

Absolutely. In America, we have the ADA to protect people with disabilities, mental and physical. I'd tell my employer that I have RSD and what my needs and limitations are that I can't compromise. I've done this for field placements, and they are always very understanding.

Happy Healing!