Hi, healers! I have been super busy, especially now that the orientation of my hospice/hospital field placement is over, and I am acquiring my independent case load. My first written up and completed psychosocial assessment at the agency was called "beautiful," so I think I am starting off strong this school year :-) So far, my tasks are psychosocial assessments, support and counseling for families and patients in the home setting, inpatient setting, and oncology unit, and the facilitating of therapy groups, particularly children's bereavement at the moment. I am learning so much from my supervisor, who is compassionate with a brilliant mind, and the other social workers on the unit. It is a really an incredible team to be a part of, making the work environment ideal.
Each time I explain to someone that I am working in a hospice/hospital setting, I get the same reaction, which is, "That must be so depressing. I couldn't do that," when in fact, it is the total opposite. Through disease, I have learned so much about myself in the past six years, and now through death, I am learning so much about life.
To be sitting next to someone who is actively dying and who knows he/she is actively dying (They may have 6 months or two weeks to live.) is a deeply profound and spiritual experience for me. It is where I feel the transitory nature of life and recognize that our bodies are only places to house the soul for a short time. We are not our physical bodies.
Through death, life has become MORE precious and beautiful to me. At 25 years old, through illness, I have been forced to examine aspects of myself, life, and my relation to others, the world around me, and beyond, which most people never do in several lifetimes. Facing death and terminal disease at my placement has allowed me to go deeper into these examinations, creating even more love and appreciation for my time on this earth in THIS body.
As I mentioned above, working in this agency is a deeply profound experience for me, and it has only been a month. I feel my growth will know no bounds by the time I am done next summer. I sense many spiritual awakenings coming, so stay tuned and keep up with my journey. I think you each will benefit from my experiences in your own ways.
As for my physical health, I am doing SO well. Better than I ever imagined. Still not 100%, but I am able to function at the level I need to right now without any pain medications. To give you an idea of where I am, I still can't "exercise," but I can perform my daily duties without being in excruciating pain or taking any opiates. My field days are extremely demanding (hospitals are HUGE. lots of walking and a long commute), but I continue to defy the odds. You know me! At this rate, I will be in full remission in no time!
I am sending prayers out to all of my healing friends xoxo
Happy Healing!
11 comments:
Who-hoo!! That is great news, Maria. I'm glad you're doing so well. I have a whole new appreciation for being stubborn.
You assignment called 'Beautiful' sounds interesting - are you able to share the assignment with you blog readers? *hint hint* :-)
Thanks, Tina!
Kristen, no, it isn't a school assignment. It's a psychosocial assessment of a client of mine. The information is protected by privacy laws (HIPPA).
What great work you're doing!! I can totally empathize with the reactions of people toward what you do. I work with kids in the hospital and a lot of people assume it must be so depressing. Actually, I love my job! There are challenges, but my field is so rewarding. Sounds like yours is too! :)
I'm so glad you're feeling better and headed toward a full recovery!
I'm so glad that things are going well for you, and that you've found something that you love to do. Blessings.
I've learned so much about death lately with some loved ones having prolonged declines. It really teaches you to savor every moment.
I am so happy for you that daily activities are going well. That is a huge accomplishment.
Thank you all so much for your unwavering support xoxo
My disease is starting to become my biggest motivator,much like yours has been for you. It has definitely made me see how precious my life is, now I hold everything to a higher value than it once did. Being friendly, once not important to me, is now incredibly important to me. Even to just smile throughout my day to strangers does, in my mind, make a small impact onto the world.
Maria,
I would like to comment on your about post in memory of mom, who died last winter after a prolonged, extremely painful battle with breast cancer that spread to her bones and liver. My mom embraced life and love, despite her declining physical body, in the same spirit that you have courageously transformed you experience of illness into a powerful life force. Do not ever doubt the power of that gift that you share with the world. Although the years preceding my mom's death were filled with incredible emotional and physical pain for me as well (as I struggled internally with many of the issues that you have chronicled about our purpose on earth and our relationship to forces larger than ourselves, and I too have a chronic illness that is exacerbated by stress), in the actual moment of her death my mom gave me a final gift so tremendous that it is impossible for me to put it into words. I sit here writing this with tears of gratitude streaming down my face. Because my mom allowed me to be the one holding her hand when the moment came for her to move on to better things. I say allowed because my mom was the kind of person who never wanted her children to see her suffer or witness her pain. Yet in those final hours, although she could no longer communicate verbally, we spoke volumes and worlds and lifetimes as we drew breaths together in a silent room. My mom let me know that she realized she had taught me everything she could (she had been in my life for a Reason), and I let her know that I knew it too, and that I was strong enough now to receive her lessons. It was as if we smiled a secret smile about this little agreement. I never would have thought that the death of someone I loved so much would bring me the closest I have ever been to what we call God. I am so glad that you are working with families in hospice. Perhaps you may have a chance to let them know that despite our culture's view of everything surrounding death as to terrible to mention (and admittedly some of the bodily aspects fit that description)-the possibilities for experiencing Love are astounding.
A beautifully written book about a woman's loss of her best friend to cancer at age 42 is "Let's Take the Long Way Home" by Gail Caldwell.
You have an amazing post. I read it several times. Read a similar post in mine too! Death
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