The Road to Self-Acceptance

How do you see yourself? I’m not referring to the physical attributes you see when you look in the mirror or catch your reflection in a crystal clear window, although that is an area of discontent that can be symptomatic of a larger issue of self-acceptance. When we are self-accepting, we are able to accept, love, and rejoice in all aspects of ourselves, from our physical attributes to the contents of our hearts. We recognize and accept our limitations and weaknesses, as well as our strengths, while we strive for further self-actualization and personal and spiritual development. Your self-acceptance will directly determine your level of happiness and satisfaction in your life, so why not try to raise your level of self-love? It doesn’t cost a thing!

Self-acceptance is crucial for happiness, well-being, quality of life, and abundance, and it is an area that our society cuts down with unrealistic images of beauty and materialism and a lack of focus on spiritual development. Unfortunately, much of our self-acceptance originates with how our parents view us and communicate those views to us. If your mother or father constantly communicated to you that you were never “enough,” than you may come into adulthood feeling insignificant and like a failure. As a result, we find consistent and numerous ways to perpetuate this unresolved hurt onto ourselves in adulthood if it is not addressed. Next, society’s messages through media and collective belief systems have the ability to impact self-worth, especially if we don’t measure up to those images and ideals.

Fully accepting myself for everything that I am in this present moment, RSD/CRPS and all, has been one of my last and most major shifts in consciousness. You may think you accept yourself, but if you criticize and judge any aspect of your existence, whether it is your weight or your achievements, you do not fully accept and love yourself. When you swell up with unconditional love for who and what you are, without judgment, just as you swell up with unconditional love for your pet or child, you know you have made it to full self-acceptance.

Stay tuned for more on this topic, including personal examples and tips for furthering self-acceptance and love.

Any thoughts or questions?

One more week and I am done with my semester!

Happy Healing!

Raw Vegan NYC Trip + Food Pictures!

Hi, Healers! I had a wonderful time in the city yesterday catching up with my BFF of ten years, Tee! We met our freshman years in high school and became attached at the hip shortly after. I went off to the University of Miami and she took off to Lehigh University for our college careers, but we always stayed close. Now, she lives a fabulous life in NYC, and I come up to visit when I can.

My parents drove me up to NYC, and while Tee and I played, they had a little date of their own.

First, we went to Angelica Kitchen, a GREAT little organic vegan place with the most delicious menu.

I had a carrot, beet, and greens juice:

And we split the cashew pate for an appetizer:

Tee ordered a mix of greens, rice, and noodles:

And I ordered a quinoa salad:

Our view:

Next, we hopped over to the Chelsea Market where we stumbled across One Lucky Duck:

I picked up another juice:

AMAZING raw chocolate macaroons:

And raw vegan cherry chocolate:

I took my medicine, but my pain was easily controlled. There were even moments where I got caught up in the fun and forgot I was sick! We hopped back in a cab just when I needed to call it quits for the afternoon, so I am not even flaring today! After an illness, the little things in life become oh-so-sweet. This is a normal Sunday afternoon for many individuals, but for me, it was to be cherished as a taste of what my healthy future will be like.

Today, it is back to grad school finals reality, as I put some finals to bed and head over to the doctor this afternoon.

Happy Healing!

Another Picture Trail: Food, Beach, Baby, Shorter, and 9/11

Yesterday, Shorter needed his beautiful, golden locks cut, so I took him to our favorite trimmer down by the shore. While he was cut, I went over to my favorite coffee shop, The News & Cafe, and did some reading and writing.

Here are the gorgeous shops right on the ocean:

The beautiful view:

The News & Cafe:

My delicious, tropical green tea:

After my tea and homework session, I had a few minutes left, so I popped over to the 9/11 Memorial to say a prayer:

An actual piece of the building:

The names of those who were lost from my town alone:

So many:

Then, I took Shorter over too Whole Foods, and we had a HUGE salad in the sunshine:

These flowers take my breath away. The colors are so vivid:

Shorter watching me:

Addie in her cute PJs:

I am about to put my last final paper to bed. Then, I have a healing meditation with Lynn.

Tomorrow, I am off to visit my BFF in the city. We are going out to lunch at a vegan restaurant. I will try to remember to take pictures!

Have a wonderful weekend!

Happy Healing!

Thoughts on Enjoying the Process of Healing

For as long as I can remember, I have set a high goal, taken the necessary steps to achieve it, and reveled in my success, but my tunnel vision on victory has never allowed me to relax into and enjoy the process. When I was in high school, I couldn’t wait to move on to college. When I was in undergraduate, I couldn’t wait to move on to graduate school. Now that I am in graduate school, I can’t wait to have my Master’s Degree and a real job where I actually get paid for my efforts instead of paying to take courses and do 1,000+ hours at two field placements! My point is that while obsessing over the finish line, I forgot to enjoy the race. Looking back, I often wish I could go back to my undergraduate days at the University of Miami in Southern Florida as the “me” I am today, someone who appreciates and FINALLY lives in the moment. Somehow, my goals became a way to avoid the moment and my athletic endeavors became a way for me to literally run away from what I did not like about myself. As a result, the universe forced me to sit still and go inward, and the only way it knew how was to take my legs away from me. I could no longer run from the truth.

How does this relate to RSD/CRPS, you ask? Over the last five years, my tunnel vision on victory carried over to my life with this (temporary) illness. During my time with Lynn, my spiritual counselor, my focus was on that miracle cure, that spontaneous remission that would occur if I only did everything I was “supposed to do” to heal. Not once did I realize that the process was what really mattered and not the desperate goal of healing. Eventually, the healing will come, but it will come as a result of relaxing into and ENJOYING the process of introspection, self-discovery, self-actualization, and the realizing of my spiritual self. How can you enjoy the process if you are in pain all over every inch of your body, and for some of you, in your internal organs, too? You just have to. You have to muster the strength, the patience, and the curiosity to live in the moment, even if the moment SUCKS. It is that simple in theory, yet that difficult in practice.

Thoughts? Questions? Concerns? Experiences?

Don't forget to check out my post on my guest lecture!

Happy Healing!

My Chronic Pain and Healing Speech

Hi, Healers! My guest lecture speech was really fun! Many of my readers asked if I taped it. I hadn’t thought about it, but afterward, the professor mentioned she wished she thought of taping, too. Oh well! Instead, here is a rundown of what we discussed:

1. Chronic pain: types of pain, symptoms, treatments, psychosocial implications (mental health and relationship issues), family support, alternative therapies, doctor-patient relationships, etc…

2. RSD/CRPS: Definition, symptoms, types, stages, treatments, etc…

3. My personal story: Background history, age of onset, symptoms, diet/lifestyle, traditional treatments, alternative therapies, prior mental health challenges resulting from RSD/CRPS, recent spiritual awakenings, etc…

The speech was very informal, and I informed the class that they may ask questions as they arise versus waiting until the completion of my speech. They asked some really fabulous, well thought out questions. Here are a few:

Have you ever had trouble getting a license?

No, not yet! Driving is painful but crucial right now while I achieve my goals.

How is it different than something like rheumatoid arthritis?

The main difference is that arthritis mainly affects the joints, and RSD/CRPS affects the entire nervous system. The pain is no longer localized. For example, my pain is in every inch of all four limbs, and I have sensitivity in other areas of the body.

Have your social relationships suffered?

Thankfully, no, because I always had a small group of very close, true friends. What has changed is that I used to be the one to organize runs or physical activities, and now, I am the one asking to meet for a sit down “chat.”

How are your parents handling this?

 It is very difficult for them to watch me suffer and deal with the “helplessness” of not being able to directly remove the disease from my body. They are my biggest supporters. Without them, I wouldn’t be where I am today. **I shed some tears**

Have you had doctors suggest that it isn’t real?

No, not to me directly. In the beginning, I think my status as an athlete and goal-oriented personality allowed them to see my sincerity. There is a double standard there. Some are depressed, hopeless, etc..., and it may be taken as apathy or lack of sincerity. Medical professonals should be aware and need more education on the condition itself to be able to recognize it in its early stage. My only concern for a long time was running again, but I do know that the majority of those with RSD/CRPS deal with non-believing medical professionals.

Do you have difficulty with your hormone cycles as a woman?

YES! My periods were awful, but upon testing, my doctor and I discovered that I was no longer producing healthy amount of testosterone, progesterone, estrogen, and cortisol, which all aid in the body’s anti-inflammatory responses. Now, my periods are much easier with the hormone replacement therapy.

What does the pain feel like now, and what did it feel like when it first started?

Now, it is mostly intense burning and muscle stiffness. When it first starts, as a runner, it mimics benign, overuse conditions, such as shin splints and tendon inflammation.

When did you know something was truly wrong?

After cutting back my mileage for some time, I decided to go for what we runners call a "long run." Once a week, we run long mileage, typically 20-30 percent of your weekly mileage equals your long run day. After I finished, my feet began to burn as if they were on fire, and then my lower legs went numb. That is when I knew I was in trouble. Needless to say, that was my last long run.

My professor gave me one of the best compliments I have ever received at the end of my speech. She said, “You are so wise but so young.” Beautiful! I nearly cried! I am so thankful for the opportunity!

Let me know if you want me to elaborate on parts 1-3. That is just a quick overview.

Two more weeks, a paper, and a presentation until the end of the semester!

Happy Healing!


P.S. Happy Earth Day!

Surrender + My Spiritual Counseling Adventure

I have been asked several times to elaborate on just what techniques Lynn has used to shift my consciousness so drasticly, and it is almost impossible to put into words just what has happened in the last few weeks. I surrendered my ego just at the right time for Lynn to come into my life and guide me out of ego-mind and toward bliss. Without full surrender, this crash course in spiritual healing could not have taken place. Full surrender consisted of deciding that I needed assistance without taking anything personally or feeling the need to defend my thoughts and behaviors. If she said to me, "Maria, you are judging him," I would say, "Ok, you are right. Help me learn how to accept everyone." Without full surrender, I would have tried to justify my actions and prove why he deserved to by judged (just as an example). If she told me my thoughts created my illness and everything in my life, I listened and asked for guidance instead of letting my ego-mind take over and justify why that wasn't true. Whatever I have been doing hasn't worked, so I gave it up to God and put my all into this adventure. And guess what? Lynn says she has never seen someone come so far so quickly! Surrender and hard work pay off!

Lynn's techniques are similar to cognitive behavioral therapy as far as thought-stopping, reframing, affirmations, and homework are concerned, but spiritual counseling is on a whole new level. She can connect with your spirit guides to figure out what techniques will work for you and what you need to work on individually. The main goal is to locate old, limiting beliefs and change them, which leave you in a state of pure love and bliss. When the shifts occur, they are sometimes random, as if you have awakened to everything you have learned over many lifetimes. It is a high like you have never known, and it is the state we should always be in when our earthbound lives do not hold us down. The trick is to learn how to shift back and forth from one to state to another because we do have to live on this earth and complete our missions.

Thoughts? Questions? Concerns?

I am giving my first guest speech on chronic pain and healing in two hours. Think of me!

Happy Healing!

Self-Judgment: The New Drug

I remember being in the first grade, and at the end of the year, I won my first award for accumulating the highest GPA in the class. That was when I took my first hit of perfectionism, and it felt good. For the next seven years of grammar school, I made that little, square, marble trophy my goal, and somewhere along the line, my self-worth became entangled in that useless treasure.

It started with my grades, craving the A+ because the A wasn’t good enough. Then, it spread to my looks, my athletic abilities, my personality, etc..., and I started living in polarities (good v. bad, fat v. thin, nice v. mean, and ugly v. beautiful). When my environment began mirroring them back to me, I assumed they must be true, and my identity became wrapped up in how “good” I could be at everything. “You’re so smart, sweet, and pretty,” I would hear over and over again, and all I could think was that I wasn’t smart, sweet, or pretty ENOUGH. Like a drug, I could never get enough, and I could never BE enough. All of the pressure I slathered myself with came from me, and I would often hear my parents advising me to “just get a B for once.”

Eventually, I fell ill with chronic pain, Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy, and guess what that triggered? Diagnosed eating, anxiety, depression, and sleep disorders, all of which I am 100% cured from at this current time. The only way I felt safe was to have control, however fleeting or unhealthy, over something, and that something was my body. Restricting, purging, and obsessing over my weight, body shape, and the food I ate (or didn’t eat) became my days and nights, and when I finally broke down, I put myself into mental health therapy. It was the best decision I ever made.

The next best decision I ever made was to work with a spiritual counselor, Lynn Walker, because our time together has allowed me to cut any leftover threads of self-judgment that were left. She has taught me I am perfect the way I am now, even if I am in pain, because Divine Intelligence makes no mistakes and can return me to perfect health. For the first time, I fully believe this down to the core, and it has become my ultimate truth.

The need for control in any area of life is based upon fear and a lack of trust in your higher power and the universal energy that connects us all. Isn’t it amazing how we would never treat others the way we often treat ourselves? Judging, abusing, and beating ourselves into submission becomes normal, and our mental chatter becomes constant, negative, and unhealthy. Healing cannot take place if we continually live out of our ego-minds, letting fear, judgment, and attachment litter our divine natures. It is important to learn how to recognize our unhealthy thoughts and habits, admit that we need assistance (it doesn’t mean you are "weak" or "wrong," which are polarities and only exist in the mind), and learn the tools needed to change our lives. I did, and look how beautiful my life is now!

Thoughts? Questions? Concerns? Experiences? Do you prefer posts like this where I give personal experience sprinkled with advice? I can also give tips to cure self-judgment in another post if that would be helpful? This is very common, so let's start an open dialogue so we can then heal ourselves!

Did self-judgment contribute to my RSD? Yes, absolutely. Self-loathing is not conducive to bodily harmony, and "dis-ease" is when you are no longer balanced. Think about it!

Happy Healing!

A Must Read Message ***EDIT: In Depth Intro by Me***

Hi, healers! Take some time to read this message from Lynn. There are several questions that come up for Lynn over and over again as she continues with her work, and she wrote this message to reach the masses instead of one person at a time. We are going backward some, and she is explaining exactly what she does as a spiritual healer. This way, you can decide if you will benefit from her work. A spiritual counselor is like a therapist, psychic/intuitive, best friend, and professional all in one and provides a more comprehensive approach to healing. As a clinical social worker in the mental health field, I come from a strengths-based perspective and so does Lynn. She focuses on your strengths rather than your weaknesses and on your present rather than your past or future. In traditional psychotherapy, professional and client often concentrate on past hurts, and what people like Lynn and I aim to do is acknowledge your past but focus on creating a new, healthy present so that your future may continue on in the same, healing way. Exciting!!! What you focus on, you create in your world, so focusing on past hurts will only create more of the same in your present and future. Focusing on disease will create more disease. Focusing on healing will create healing. Let me just tell you that Lynn has changed my life! Enjoy!

Remember, everyone is on his/her own spiritual journey, so if this rings true for you, follow the signs! If you are honest and open with yourself, you will know when to make the move. I trust in each of you!

Thanks for reading! Sending love and healing light to each of you!

XOXOXOXO

Hi all!

I just want to take a minute and clear up some confusion! The work I do is spiritual and energy healing. I use a variety of methods and techniques (Reiki, meditation, hypnosis, chakra balancing, contacting spirit guides, etc.) to help you find a way to heal your body. The Creator, Source or God (whatever you decide it is) works through me to guide you to find whatever you need to heal. Sometimes you will need energy work, sometimes you may have grief issues over the loss of a loved one - basically, I will be guided and this will be a journey for both of us.

Most importantly, I am not limited to only working on your mind! The human body, mind and spirit all need to work together for you to have a healthy, joyful and peaceful life...therefore, I have to help you adjust ALL these aspects when you are trying to heal from any disease, but especially one that is chronic.

Lastly, I really want you to understand that I do NOT believe that anyone creates their own illness or that your thinking is responsible for your illness! I am not sure how this became the focus of everything.

What I know helped me in my own healing was finding those beliefs that I developed as a child that no longer serve me - for example, I was very sensitive as a child. My parents thought this extra sensivity would be something that held me back in life and wanted to "toughen me up". Being sensitive and also wanting them to love me, I started to believe that there was something not right about me. I began to reject who I was on a very deep level. Later on this rejection of self led to depression, anxiety and some other destructive behaviors. After years of this kind of depression and self-destruction, I believe my body could no longer take the stress and I became sick.

Now, I did not set out to create myself as a depressed, sick or destructive person; however, subconsciously, I interpreted my parents desire to help me (although somewhat misguided) in a way that later did a lot of damage. Once I realized that they never intended to hurt me AND that God does not make mistakes (essentially, I was perfect from birth and being sensitive was supposed to happen) then I was able to start healing that broken part of me. By healing that emotional and spiritual part of me, my body was helped in the process!

So, as you work on your body, mind and spirit, you can begin to identify old beliefs that are holding you back in life. Most often these beliefs are ones that parents, teachers and peers helped install in you and they are hidden deep within the subconscious. Although they are hidden, they are still very powerful and are causing you to behave in ways that really don't work for you anymore; consequently, it is time for them to go! In my work, I help you to find more and more of these limiting beliefs, uncover them and discard them. THEN, the exciting work begins! We start to build a set of NEW empowering beliefs which allow you to create a life that is ALL yours and free of fear, anxiety, judgment and worry!

I hope this helps you to understand the process better. Just know that what you do to heal is specific to you...anyone you work with should be able to help you as you navigate YOUR spiritual path. No one technique or method will work for everyone, so if what you are trying to do does not feel comfortable, try something else. Whoever is helping you should be that flexible and if not, then you need a different healer, teacher, therapist or healthcare provider. Most of all, even though it can be a lot of work, you should ENJOY the process! This is exciting stuff for you - being able to create a new life that is healthy, happy and free!

Namaste,

Lynn

Awaken to Spirit

http://www.awakentospirit.com/

http://www.awakentospirit.blogspot.com/

Friend me on Facebook: www.facebook.com/SpiritWhisperer

Elaborating on #14 - Meditation/Prayer

My good friend and fellow RSDer, Franci, asked me to elaborate on #14 of My Top Tips for Happiness in Illness (and Healing). Please, if you enjoy this and would like me to discuss any of the others in depth, I would be honored. I find a lot of my readers prefer to e-mail me privately, so feel free!

14. Meditate/Pray: Quieting the mind is one of the most difficult practices I have come across in my illness evolution, but when you do, you tap into your core self and your higher power. Take time to slow your breathing and your mind. “As within, so without.”

If there is one aspect of healing I need to practice, meditation is it. I have been a product of my environment, leading with my intelligent, analytical mind, running from here to there, chasing one goal after the other... But if you live long or honestly enough, your life will find a way to humble you, to expose your flaws, and to teach you humility.

When I attempted meditation for the first time two years ago, I realized just how far I needed to come to improve my quality of life. "WOW," I thought. "I think this much?!" While I showered, while I ate, while I attempted to fall asleep, while I talked to others, my mind was constantly racing, and I had NO IDEA! Once I attempted to quiet my mind, I realized my mental chatter was far greater and far more negative than I had ever anticipated.

Meditation and prayer allow you to either quiet your mind or to put that mental energy into a positive focus, such as an affirmation. Here is a great website on the "how to's" of meditation. There is breath, walking, standing, chanting, amongst many other types of meditation, so if one doesn't work for you, don't get discouraged. Start small with five minutes a day and work up to longer periods of zen.

To me, prayer is focused meditation. Pray from your heart, not from a memorized poem that we often disconnect from when reciting. Talk to your spirit guides and angels, and ask them for guidance. Surrender and you will see their signs.

Questions? Comments?

Lynn, my parents, and I are doing another guided meditation in a half hour. The last one was such a success! Wish us luck!

Happy Healing!

A Picture Trail

Hi, healers! I left a picture trail of the last week.

Addie with her grandma sitting...

...and smelling the flowers.

Addie in one of the outfits I bought her for Easter.

Addie and Daddy in the sun.

Addie loving Shorter, as usual.

Spinach, green apple, cucumber, kale, and watermelon juice!

It's watermelon season!!!!!!!!!!

Fuel for finals.

Mommy and her baby.

Cool doggy!

Enjoying the gorgeous spring awakening that is taking place outside in nature and inside of me.

I am finishing up two final research papers that are due in the next two weeks, and this coming Wednesday, I give my guest speaker speech on chronic pain in a grad class. Of course, I will focus most of the speech on healing because that is the only way to heal yourself and others. Focusing on the illness, pain, frustration, depression, etc... will only bring more of the same. Remember, "as within, so without; as above, so below."

When this semester is over, I am thinking about starting to write a manuscript about chronic illness and healing, particularly spiritual awakening. I have so much to update you on! I barely know where to start!!! It has all been happening so fast! My advice, call Lynn Walker! She is an incredible spiritual healer and woman!

Because I have so much to write about, does anyone have any topics they would like me to focus on?  I have had awakenings in the topics of control, self-judgment, ego, surrender, fear, creating my world, training the subconscious mind, etc...

Happy Healing!

My Personal Top Tips for Happiness in Illness Continued... Part IV

Hi, everyone! Here are more tips on how to live a happy life with a chronic illness/disability. Don't forget to read Parts I, II, and III! I would love to write a book someday soon about my "illness evolution" and the incredible spiritual awakenings I have been having. I am putting it out into the universe! 

13. Read: I have found that reading self-help/spiritual/alternative medicine books has been a great supplement to my past and present therapeutic experiences. While you read, take what concepts appeal to you and integrate them into your belief system. I have had fun reading approximately thirty books outside of the texts necessary for my Master’s program in the last year, and they have been an integral piece of my healing. The same books that appeal to me may not appeal to you, so explore a little.

14. Meditate/Pray: Quieting the mind is one of the most difficult practices I have come across in my illness evolution, but when you do, you tap into your core self and your higher power. Take time to slow your breathing and your mind. “As within, so without.”

15. REST: Over its development, our society has decided that if you aren’t constantly achieving in the specific ways that society deems admirable, you aren’t a worthwhile human being. This is not true! Rebel! Decide to take care of yourself, to go outside of the box and REST. Find that balance between work and play because, if you don’t, your body will force you to later on.

Happy Healing!

My Personal Top Tips for Happiness in Illness Continued... Part III

Hi, friends! Here are more tips for happiness. Don't forget to read Part I and Part II!

10. Let Go of Ego: You know ego. That little voice inside of you that judges (you and others), that fears the unknown, that is attached to the material world, and that desires to control every little detail. The first step to overcoming your ego mind is to become aware of its presence, so listen closely as you go through your day. Once you recognize it, you are more likely to let it go. Replacing the negative chatter of the ego mind with positive, life-affirming thoughts will help raise your vibrational frequency and heal your body.

11. Listen to Intuition and Others: *Let me preface this by affirming my love for each and every one of you.* We don’t have all the answers. If we did, we would be healed already. Put your ego aside and listen to the teachings of those who are wise in their fields. If you tap into your intuition, which is the voice of God, you will know the right direction to go. Have faith that your intuition will guide you. I trust that each of you are open and ready!

12. Go Easy on Yourself: Many of us have the “not judging others” down, but we tend to forget about treating ourselves with the same respect and acceptance. Be gentle! This is a lesson that I learned intellectually many years ago, but it just came to be my truth in the last few days.

Thoughts? Questions? Concerns? Experiences? Let me know if you would like me to elaborate or share more personal accounts of these lessons. I appreciate you reaching out to me in e-mails, and I thank you for being so courageous and candid!

Happy Healing!

My Personal Top Tips for Happiness in Illness Continued...

Hello, friends! Here are my next few tips for happiness in illness. Remember, I am writing these from personal experience, so these are all lessons I have had to learn (or am still learning) myself.

6. Be in Awe: With the hustle and bustle of today’s world, we tend to forget to stop and smell the proverbial and real roses. Take a moment to allow yourself to be in awe of the wonders of the world and that divine intelligence that helps those ordinary miracles unfold. Watch a bee hop from flower to flower doing its part for Mother Nature. Feel the electricity of the beating of your own heart. Notice the growing of your own nails. This stuff is neat!

7. Be Mindful: Allow yourself to stay in the present moment, which is always a struggle. The past is over and the future doesn’t exist, so engage fully in the present moment and accept yourself just as you are.

8. Engage in Life: When we don’t feel well, our first instinct is to stay in, rest, and isolate, especially when the illness we face is debilitating. Be honest and check in with yourself. Am I isolating because I REALLY need to rest, or am I isolating because I am feeling sad, frustrated, hopeless, etc…? We are spiritual beings, and when every material thing is this world fades, all we will have left is love. Share love and receive love. It is some of the best medicine and the greatest gift.

**If you feel you may be depressed, reach out for help. There is hope.**

9. Be a Child: Look at any small child before society has forced its belief systems upon him/her. The child, if from a loving family, does not have a care in the world and only lives for the pleasures of the present moment. The child does not need to control every single detail of his/her life, does not judge, desires to spread love, and always has FUN. You will not sacrifice your maturity by taking some notes from a child. Engage is some hurt your face, belly laughter, play tag, go through a coloring book, get your finger paint on, etc...

More to come! Thoughts? Experiences? Questions?


Happy Healing!

My Personal Top Tips for Happiness in Illness

Hi, friends! Mary ALWAYS asks great questions, and yesterday, she wanted to know what I do when I feel like I want to give up the fight. Here are the first half of my tips! Check back soon for the second half! Actually, I have quite a few. Perhaps, I will give them to you in chunks when I feel inspired tomorrow and the next day!

1. Be Grateful: Being grateful for the abundance in your life and focusing on the positives can raise your vibrational energy, which always aids in healing. ALWAYS being positive can create shallowness, so honor your feelings of sadness and frustration when they arise, but remember to move on.

2. Set Healthy Goals: Setting healthy goals can aid in feelings of self-confidence and self-worth when an illness threatens the very core of who you know yourself to be. You don't have to be in my Master's program to achieve a goal. Learn how to draw, speak a new language, write some poetry, etc... These goals are all just as, if not more, important and offer a distraction, especially if you are in pain.

3. Change your Mindset: Learn to view your illness or any set back as an opportunity for growth and personal development. See what society has taught us are negatives and view them as positives by finding the lessons. They are there! TRUST ME!

4. Express Yourself: Our emotions are very real and very powerful, so repressing any traumatic experiences can create illness in its many forms. Find someone you trust, a professional or loved one, write in a journal, speak to your higher power, etc...

(My last tip for today is the most important. Please, reread this and sit with it, meditate on it, pray on it, etc...)

**5. Go Inward: In our materialistic, dualistic, ego-centered society, we are taught that if a problem arises, look OUTSIDE for the cause. Did someone's negative attitude make me sick? Is my environment toxic? Is my food polluted? Are my genes flawed? We are so quick to attribute the cause of our suffering to some outside phenomenon, but in 99% of the cases, the cause and cure for all of our ills, personal and social, can be found inside of us. Start looking!

To be continued...

Thoughts, personal experiences, questions on these first five? I am here to serve you! Ask away, and remember, you can always e-mail me if it is too personal and you do not feel comfortable on a public forum. I am putting my personal development and yours first. The school work will get done. It always does.
 mariamooney@comcast.net

Happy Healing!

I Struggle, Too! + Pictures

My family and I are finalizing the plans for my second ketamine infusion, just in case I feel the need to pull the trigger. After getting some blood work done on Thursday, my mom and I stopped at my favorite health food store and picked up some Gnosis Raw Chocolate:

Bach's Flower Essences in Rescue Remedy:

And some Kombucha to drink (along with coffee) while I edit final papers:

Here is Addie brushing her teeth like a big girl Friday night:

Addie napping on me:

Shorter getting ready to drive to the dog park:

And Shorter and his Daddy walking off into the sunset:

 Following an unforseen spike in my pain levels, the past two weeks have been a serious struggle for me. Finals are upon me, doctors and treatments never end, and chasing a fifteen month old "turbo tot" is hell for the body (but fuel for the soul). Talking to my friend Amber, who is going through her own candid struggles with chronic pain and mental illness, I discovered that because we are all human and earthbound, we may need to hear that others, even the most positive, struggle. I cannot tell you how many tears I have shed in the last week and how many times I decided that THIS would finally be the time I gave up the good fight. I've cried out to God, asking for just one pain free moment. While I like to keep this blog as upbeat as possible, focusing on my triumphs and awakenings versus my struggles, I do think it is important for you to understand that I want to give up, too, sometimes.

I don't really know what "giving up" looks like to me, but I assume it means not trying so hard to continue on with as normal of a life as possible, finishing up a Master's degree, fulfilling my social roles and responsibilities, pushing forward with treatments and healing, constantly engaging in introspective work and self-evaluation... Do I still ask myself "why me?" Of course! For every 99 "why not me's," one "why me" sneaks in. When I have feelings of frustration and sadness, I sit with them, feel them without judgment, and wait until they pass. With this method, the feelings ALWAYS pass. They may come back, but they always pass.

To offset feelings of "giving up," I surround myself with feelings of gratitude for the abundance of my life. Remember, gratitude doesn't have to only be reserved for those large jackpots. It can be for the small wonders of life, including the beating of your heart or your eyes that help you see the beauty of this world.

Lynn and I just did a guided meditation for healing with my family members in the room to fill the energy space with love and prayers. It was very relaxing, and Shorter was hypnotized! We have a lot to learn from our animals.

Any thoughts or questions?

Happy Healing!