Raw Foods!

Hi, healers! The farmer's markets are popping up locally, and I am SO pleased! Healing AND local = Perfection.

Look at these eggplants:

And Jersey tomatos:

I have been all about these Love Force Sun-Flax raw "breads." They are divine: 

I put some in salads like croutons to get that crunch packed with raw nutrients:

"Cheesy" Kale Chips by Kaia Foods:

Raw collard wrap with cashew spread. I added some hummus mixed with hemp seeds on the side:

Cherries:

Some sweet baby pictures from Wednesday:

 

And my baby sleeping on my sweatshirt:

Have a wonderful weekend! The weather is gorgeous here, so I am going to the beach with my best friend.

Happy Healing!

**EDIT: How to Survive Undergraduate and Graduate Programs with Chronic Illnesses

**I have been selected to be in How to Cope With Pain's Pain Blog Carnival this month. Take a look and check out the other great articles!**

Hi, healers! I promised I would provide you fellow students with my tips on how to navigate undergraduate and graduate programs with chronic illnesses.

Here you go!

***1. Register with the disability office:***

First and foremost, REGISTER WITH YOUR DISABILITY OFFICE BEFORE THE SEMESTER BEGINS. I write this in capitals with bolding and underlining because it is imperative that you do so to have a successful school year when you have an illness that includes certain limitations. I am registered with my disability office, and there is no shame in it. You are being smart and savvy, using all of your resources to ensure that you will be a success and graduate with the degree of your choice.

2. Be upfront with your professors:

After you've registered with the disability office, you will work with them to create letters of accommodations for your professors. Your professors are obligated to oblige, and if they do not, make sure to report back to your disability coordinator with this information so he/she can assist you in this area. I am VERY lucky being that I am in a graduate program for social work. You cannot get anymore understanding and compassionate than a bunch of social workers :-)

3. Be honest with yourself and your limitations:

You know very well what you can and cannot do, so please, don't overextend yourself just to feel "normal."

4. Make time for the things you enjoy:

Get your nose out of your books, even if only for a short amount of time, to indulge in your favorite activities. Go to the movies, meditate, pray, read non-school texts, get your nails done, go out to eat, etc. The school work will be there when you get back, and you will feel refreshed.

5. Say "YES!" to help:

If friends or loved ones offer to help you, take their help with gratitude. It takes the strongest of individuals to admit they need help and to actually accept it. In our individualistic society, we've received the message that needing any form of help can be equated to weakness. No, this just makes you human, and human beings are social creatures for a reason. We must depend on one another in times of need. NO SHAME ADDED.

6. Seek out support:

Whether it be from loved ones, a mental health therapist, a spiritual advisor, etc. Often, we cannot do this alone. If you are having difficulty coping, seeking out professional help is a MUST on the semester's to-do list. The best part about being in undergradaute or post-graduate is that mental health professionals are available on campus.

7. Remember pacing:

Pace yourself. Don't wait until the last minute to start a paper/project or to study for an exam. With chronic illness comes unpredictable flares, and you'll want to always leave yourself extra time to account for any unexpected bumps in the road. I start my work earlier than you can imagine, and it has allowed me to keep a 4.0 GPA in a graduate program.

If I think of any others, I will be sure to add to this list. Any questions?

Happy Healing!

Puppies, Babies, Tutus, OH MY!

Hi, healers! I had a wonderfully healing weekend filled with loved ones, good food, and good laughs.

Shorter taking a ride in the convertible (notice the UM collar):

Backseat buddies:

Look what time it is!!!! I bathe in bliss when I see Halloween decorations begin to pop up in stores:

Pat took it upon himself to dress up as a pink cowgirl:

After our Halloween happiness and round of laughs, we went out for giant salads:

Look at these two love birds:

Here's your fix of sweet baby pictures:

Notice our matching tutus:

Snacking in her new, multi-colored tutu:

Driving in her new, multi-colored tutu:

Playing dress up in grandma's jewels:

As for me, I have been having little setbacks the last two days in my pain - little flares. Still no opiates being taken, but poor weather and PMS always play a role in elevated pain. I'm not worried about it. Eventually, what goes up must come down.

Check back soon for writings on the topics I mentioned on my To-Do List!

Happy Healing!

My To-Do List for You

Hi, healers! Before I get started, let me direct you to a great blog written by Lynn Walker, my spiritual counselor, on fear, which is something we all struggle with in a fear and ego-based society. The post is lengthy because she goes into detail about her own experiences with fear in her life. Very much worth the read.

Also, I am going to be vlogging again very soon. My vlogs were done when I first started treatment with my holistic doctor and my spiritual advisor about eight months ago (a lifetime!), and I feel as if I am a brand new child of God/Source/Creator. The last eight months have been a crash course in spiritual development and physical healing, and I would love to share that with you "in person" (as well as what the inpatient and outpatient ketamine infusions are like, how I have benefited, etc.). I have grown in leaps and bounds! Sound good?

I have been asked to write on a few topics:

1. How to have a chronic illness and maintain sanity in undergraduate and graduate programs.

2. A letter to the diagnosed from the spouses/partners of those with chronic illness.

3. Finding meaning in your struggles and using it to keep you focused on healing and out of the sick role (a personal account).

Any others I am forgetting or you want added? You can ask on my anonymous formspring page if you are shy.

I will probably address the higher learning topic first because September is coming up on us students quickly, but the will to meaning is important to me (Lynn also suggested it would be very beneficial to my readers).

Anything else I'm missing?

Happy Healing!

P.S. We are always looking for delicious raw food recipes to feature at crazysexylife.com. If you are a raw food culinary king or queen, please e-mail the link/recipe and photo to maria@crazysexywellness.com. I troll the raw food blogs often for your recipes, but you can come to me, too :-) Thanks!

Can't Go Wrong with Cute Baby and Puppy Pictures + Ketamine Update

Hi, healers! I'm back from my second round of boosters, and they weren't nearly as difficult to go through or to recover from as last time. My pain is quite low, still off all opiates, and really feeling like I am making strides in my recovery.

God/Source/Creator, thank you for healing me. In Jesus' name. Amen.

I have a lot to write about, but for now, enjoy some adorable pictures while I get a post-ketamine massage.

:-)

Playing Outside:

Bonding:

Ballerina:

Fairy Princess:

Best Buddies:

Road Trip:

The farmers' markets are opening in NJ. L-O-V-E!

Today, celebrating another round of ketamine boosters down at lunch with Addie and Daddy:

Happy Healing!

Blowing My Mind + Update

"We do not create Love; Love is ever-present and comes into being when we understand

that it is not made up in the mind. When the mind sees that it cannot create Love but only ideas

about what Love should be, then it becomes silent and Love is. Then there is no problem, for

all problems are solved in Love. For Love is God and God is Love, and there is nothing else,

all else is but an illusion of the mind, and when the mind is understood the illusion falls away;

then Love worketh Its own perfection, for It is Its own Eternity." - The Yoga of the Christ

 

**Lynn gave me this wonderful text to read, and it has taken me to a new level of spiritual development. THANK YOU, Lynn! Anyone in need of renewal, Lynn is SO talented. Visit her website here**

 

This idea of Love is not the typical manifestation of conditional love, it is the essence of eternal life, true being, what is left when all conditions and conditionings fall away. When you strip away all judgments of self and others, you can extend the same Love that you may feel for a loved one to a complete stranger or gasp! to someone who has wronged you. You see their true essence, and you are one with them. Only when you extend this Love to yourself, can you extend it to another. True, eternal, unconditional Love.

 

I am off for my third and fourth ketamine boosters tomorrow morning, and I am entering into this second round of treatments with a MUCH different mindset. I can't wait to write more. This week has been a crash course in spiritual lessons. Stay tuned!

 

HAPPY Healing!

 

Can Fear and Love Coexist?

"The single most important decision any of us will ever make is whether or not to believe the universe is friendly." Albert Einstein

Can love and fear coexist? The answer is a big, fat NO! Fear is darkness, it exists in our lower-selves, (our ego-selves) and it originates from a sense of not being in control. For a recovering control-freak like myself, working to live outside of fear and in pure love has always been a struggle for me. Throw in a "progressive" disease with no known cause, cure, or real course, and you can imagine fear of the unknown is a staple in the daily emotional diet. Most likely, the main course.

 Fear serves a very real purpose. It saved primative man's life by triggering the fight or flight response in order to run and escape an acutely dangerous situation. After success, the fight or flight response subsided, but unfortunately, in our fear based, high stress society, the fight or flight response is constantly activated in a more subtle way (think anger, frustration, anxiety, jealousy, etc.), exhausting organ systems and coping abilities and creating illness, mental and physical.

Love exists in our higher selves, the spirit, that oneness with God/Source/Creator and all living things. It is unconditional and encompasses peace, joy, serenity, etc. SO many of us live from a place of constant but subtle fear (something you may not even recognize as fear), whether it is anxiety about the unknown future or a lack of total self-love, closing out the beauty and insight of the higher self, pure love. 

I was inspired to write this rambling post out of two recent experiences that had me pondering fear and love, particularly whether or not they could coexist. Remember, there is a lesson in every difficult experience if you open yourself up and look at yourself with honest eyes. Watching others live from a place of fear has allowed me to look within and discover myself falling back into that fear-based living because of the treatment I am in right now for the RSD/CRPS. The straight-up fear of the unknown, the anxiety before and after the treatments, the need for self-preservation above all else has been recently blocking out my oneness with God/Source/Creator, and therefore, all living things. I could feel it happening, but I couldn't pin point exactly what the problem was.

Self-exploration rocks! It is difficult to face the darkest spaces inside of yourself, but beyond worth it.

I hope my ramblings have been beneficial to some of you facing the same demons.

Happy Healing!

First Ketamine Boosters Done + I Get Sad and Frustrated, too

**Excuse the ketamine fog head I'm writing with**

Hi, healers! My first two ketamine boosters are finished, and I have to go back in one week from today for two more. Ketamine is a nasty drug, no matter which way you look at it, and considering my low body weight and body fat percentage, I seem to be getting hit quite hard by the "regretamine"(best street name for ketamine I've ever heard). Remember, everyone reacts differently to different drugs, but ketamine and I do not seem to get along. I have extreme difficulty with morphine, as well.

 For anyone considering ketamine or going through the boosters right now, I have found that using a face mask (one that completely darkens - I'm talking pitch black) to block out the double/triple vision, room spins, and hallucinations you might see and using your ipod to block out any other noises that could cause you to hallucinate or become fearful are THE BEST. In your doped up state, you can actually pretend as if you are just resting in your bed by blinding yourself and blocking out "hospital noises." I didn't sleep through any of the eight hours worth of ketamine, so this technique saved my sanity.

You all know me as someone who is extremely positive, searching for and discovering lessons and meaning in my trials, but recently, I had been wrestling with some frustration. I thought I would share my struggles with you so that you understand that I am not "perfect" or immune to the sadness and frustration that can accompany illness and pain.

While I am SO grateful God/Source/Creator has given me the opportunity to receive ketamine with Dr. Schwartzmann, it is no secret that I don't enjoy the drug AT ALL. It is scary and leaves you feeling ill for days. Going into the treatments, I had the "I am so sick of being sick and being a 'patient,'" "I am so scared I'll never get 100% better," and "Graduate school and my field placement are starting soon while I am still in treatment, oh crap" breakdowns. I am THE great catastrophizer, meaning I have the ability to look far into the future and create the worst case scenario better than anyone I know. My solutions? Mindfulness - living in and experiencing the present moment, one moment at a time. And having faith that God/Source/Creator's plan for me is unfolding exactly how and in the timing that it is supposed to (thank you, Lynn, for reminding me of this one).

Something I learned about myself this week: Sometimes, I keep my emotions to myself for two reasons. First, having been in therapy for years and being in the mental health field now, I know how to solve my own problems when they are solvable using coping tools. This is a good thing. Second, the not so good thing, is that I tend not to vent to my loved ones because I want to protect them from feeling sad. I know how much it pains my parents to see me like this, and I can't bear to hurt them anymore. See, there is a lesson in everything. I am taking this knowledge and changing for my highest good. I will honor my feelings when they need to be vented while also honoring the fact that my parents and loved ones are entitled to their own feelings that may also teach them lessons.

Look for the lessons in your difficult times.

Happy Healing!

Ketamine Boosters

Hi, healers! I'm off to Philadelphia to receive my first two ketamine boosters today and tomorrow. Wish me luck and send me healing prayers!

Happy Healing!

Cuteness Overload - A Less Serious Post

Hi, healers!

Don't forget to check out the last post I wrote about my last two spiritual awakenings. I think they will be very helpful for some of you.

It's been some time since I've handed you some cuteness. I was finally feeling strong enough to see the baby after my hospitalization and recovery, so I went over to daddy's house for the afternoon. Boy, did I miss her!

Here she is playing in her new turtle sandbox:

Using her sand toys as purses and a hat:

Taking a walk with daddy:

 

Playing in her shopping cart:

And here is Shorter napping between the recliner and coffee table:

I have my first two ketamine boosters Thursday and Friday, so keep me in your thoughts and prayers.

Happy Healing!