Ketamine Boosters

Hi, healers! I'm off to Philly for my ketamine boosters. I'll update you somewhere around Wednesday. Sending my love to all of you xoxoxo

Happy Healing!

Information on NMDA Receptors and Excitotoxins

Hi, healers!

A few posts back, I mentioned NMDA receptors and excitotoxins... Here is some information:

Many of these articles are highly scientific, so read slowly. And reading up on some background about what an NMDA receptor is, how it works, and its components may have these make more sense to you. Many of the scientific, peer-reviewed articles I found, I only have access to because I am a graduate student. The general public would have to pay for them :-( This information below is available to the general public.

-GREAT book: Excitotoxins: The Taste That Kills

   **Here is a shortened book review written on the text

-Here is a well-written and thought out piece with citations: NMDA Antagonists for CFS/ME and Fibromyalgia

-Food Additive Excitotoxins and Degenerative Brain Disorders

-Excitotoxins, neurodegeneration and neurodevelopment

-Harmful Effects of Excitotoxins

Remember, excitotoxins are found in many of the foods and drinks you probably eat and drink. Anything "sugar free" or "diet," including diet sodas. Splenda, sweet-n-low, and equal are absolute poison to the brain. If it doesn't come from the earth, don't eat or drink it. If you can't pronounce the ingredients, don't eat or drink it.

Ketamine Treatment Update Specifics

Good morning, healers! I have to run off to the hospital this morning (my field placement is in a hospice inside a hospital in NJ), but I wanted to update you on my treatment plans. From now until the end of the year, I will be receiving six more ketamine boosters (I originally only had two more left), two at the end of each month, October, November, and December. My first two are October 25th and 26th, coming up quickly. As soon as I got out of the hospital (remember, I did the inpatient ketamine infusion), I jumped into a demanding graduate school schedule, long hours, long classes, long commutes, and long walks around a hospital for my field placement. The goal for me now is to have consistent treatment so I avoid any major relapses and can stay off of pain medications.

Anyway, I will write about this in more detail later, including my feelings on these new developments, which are mixed.

Off to the hospital! Have a great day!

Updates + NMDA Antagonists

Hi, healers! Those of you who have been with me since the beginning know that I tend to slow down posting dramatically once grad school starts up again. I apologize for not being as available, but I promise to update you on my condition periodically, post when I have the time and energy, and catch up on your lives when I can. If you need me, please feel free to contact me through e-mail or facebook.

Midterms and finals seasons are sneaking up on me, and now that I am done with orientation and have my own case load at the hospice, I have my fair share of work to do. Add doctors, treatments, and overall healing activities onto the pile, and I am one busy girl. It is extremely important for me to regulate my stress, manage my time, prioritize, and be able to recognize when my body is telling me that I am doing too much. Despite the fact that I'd rather be able to socialize and have more fun when I am not doing work, rest is still very important.

At the moment, I am attempting to move my end of November ketamine boosters up. The physically demanding nature of my schedule has me needing more consistent treatment since I will not be taking any opiates ever again, so help me God. Also, I've been doing research on NMDA receptor antagonists (ketamine is in this class), including what causes the receptors to become excitable in the first place and natural NMDA antagonists. For those of you with RSD/CRPS, Fibro, CFS, etc. who don't follow a natural diet, I would suggest doing research on excitotoxins found in foods (MSG, aspartame - ex. artificial sweeteners) and the roles they play in the NMDA receptors. VERY interesting. First order of business, remove them from your diet ASAP - and I mean immediately. More on this later.

Happy Healing!

My Unique Job + Ketamine Treatment Update

Hi, healers! I'm so glad you enjoyed my post on change, which fuels our lives along with love (in my eyes). Take that leap into the unknown as the acceptance of a new, invigorating challenge and have the confidence in and love for yourself to see it through. At this point in my life, I understand that I can do anything, but that doesn't mean it won't be without some bumps, twists, turns, and lessons learned.

I've been SO kindly approached to write a piece for an academic journal distributed throughout Europe, and I am so flattered to take on the challenge (THANK YOU!). The topic will be one on mental health and chronic illness within a social work context.

Yesterday was a difficult day for me at my placement. Being the bearer of devistating news to individuals who are already suffering a great deal isn't easy for us empaths. Is my work sad? Depressing? Difficult? Yes, yes, and yes, but it also extremely rewarding and contributes to my personal development by the minute. One of the incredible aspects about the work I do is that each day I am reminded of yet another reason(s) to be thankful for what I have in my own life. Each day, I reflect on these lessons, as difficult as it may be to see others suffer so greatly. I am in a very unique position. My work isn't just my work - it is a stepping stone to higher awareness.

**Treatment Update: I have added two more ketamine boosters to my treatment plan. I shouldn't be going back until right before Christmas, but I decided to schedule two more at the end of November (plus the December boosters). We are on the cancellation list, so if any spots open up before that date, I'll be going then instead. TBA**

HAPPY HEALING and growing!

**EDIT: Thoughts On Why People Do Not Change - An Important Personal Lesson Learned

"We would rather be ruined than changed;

We would rather die in our dread

Than climb the cross of the moment

And let our illusions die."

~W.H. Auden

Why do people resist change?

An Awakening.

There are MANY reasons why people resist change. Often, they are fully unaware that the change is necessary to live joyfully in emotional, mental, spiritual, and physical stability and freedom. Many just do not know which direction to turn to for change to occur, and they lack the tools to make the necessary changes happen. This is when professional help is required.

But for others, they are fully aware that the changes and the subsequent final destintations are necessary and great, but the deterent is that the journeys there are perecived as painful and uncomfortable. They are AFRAID to change, to uncover the pieces of themselves that are "ugly" and no longer serve their highest goods. They FEAR that they cannot change - that they will fail at change just as they have "failed" in other areas of their lives before. The anticipated pain of the transition is enough to make their current, unhealthy states seem stable, which is only an illusion. The perceived unhealthy, stability will never lead to true joy and self-love, and filling oneself up with distraction allows for further decay of that vital life energy that fuels love of self, love of others, and the only constant in this life, which is change.

In the Toaist tradition, water symbolizes wisdom and fluid change. It moves in the path of least resistance and takes on the form in which it is held. It symbolizes personal transformation and recycling. It is motion. It is change. It is life.

My final thought -- Water that is stagnant creates an environment where death and decay reign supreme, and in contrast, water that flows is home to incredible life. Be home to life.

Happy Healing and Changing!

**EDIT: I am in the process of making a new page, which you can see at the top of my blog, that has my favorite posts for those of you who just start reading my blog.
Also, as I was starting to go through some old posts, I found this paragraph I wrote back in March. It pertains to this post on change:
"As time progresses and I am tried by difficult circumstances, I am realizing that character building is a slow and steady process if you let it be. When we delay our growth by denial, avoidance, regression, resentment, anger, jealousy, and comparing ourselves to others, we inflict upon ourselves the worst and most unnecessary pain possible that would only be temporary discomfort if we faced change and character development head on and with an eager spirit. Each trial is an opportunity for growth, and when viewed in this manner, pain becomes a stepping stone to higher awareness. What are important in this temporary life are not material positions but relationships with those you love. With another hospitalization looming, I am reminded that I would rather have my mom and dad by my bedside than my diplomas or laptops, which reaffirms what this life is about (LOVE). What is a purpose driven life? It is a life centered on spiritual growth, community service, and a turning away from self-centered, worldly temptations. It is the only way to live and something to strive for."
 

RSD Bill Passes, Pain Spike, and Treatment Update

Good morning, healers! I have WONDERFUL news! The RSD Awareness Day Bill passed in the Senate yesterday with a perfect vote (38-0). We're on our way!

Also, I was featured in How to Cope with Pain's September Pain Blog Carnival. Thank you!

I've been struggling a bit the last 24 hours with a rise in my pain levels. We have a nasty, hot, humid rain storm sitting ontop of NJ (all RSDers know how badly that can affect pain levels). Add that to PMS (UGH!) and my demanding graduate school schedule, and it's a difficult mix to not miss a beat with when you don't have any pain medication to take. Well, I technically HAVE plenty of it in my possession, but I'm not taking it. I never want to take another opiate again. I've been opiate free since July 12th when I entered into the hospital for my ketamine infusion. They can acually hinder the ketamine boosters I am currently in the middle of, so my goal is to stay as far away from needing them as possible, even if that means more rest days. It's a fine balance, but my professional life means a lot to me. I will finish my graduate degree this school year.

Instead of pushing myself past my limits and spending the next three days in pain trying to recover, I am going to listen to my body and rest. I know this spike is only temporary and that I should feel better by the weekend. I'm still working on finding that balance between my graduate and professional life, my personal life, and my healing. There is a lesson in here somewhere.

**Treatment Update: Dr. Schwartzman and I have decided to schedule a few extra ketamine boosters in between now and my next scheduled round, which is just before Christmas. The goal is to be able to keep up with a demanding schedule and continue to heal at the same time.

Happy Healing!