I Don't Identify with Disease

(SOURCE)



When someone is given a diagnosis after many years of suffering without a label to wrap around his or her symptoms, the diagnosis is often met with a sigh of relief and an exclamation of "see, it's not all in my head!" Shortly after (say, two minutes later), for me, the novelty wore off, and I was faced with the fact that I now had a "progressive and incurable" neurological disease to contend with and a miracle healing to shoot for.

I heard through the RSD/CRPS grapevine yesterday that the disease was going to be featured on Dr. Oz's show this afternoon, and while I am thrilled for the awareness the appearance will bring to the disease and the many who are suffering, I did not tune in to watch despite being homebound while doing the castor oil treatment portion of Gerson Therapy today.

Let me explain why. Although I have a blog where I discuss RSD/CRPS amongst many other topics, including health and diet, veganism, animal rights, mental health, spiritual development, etc., I have always attempted to keep myself comfortably removed from identifying too strongly with the disease. For the same reasoning, most of you were unaware that I also have diagnosis of Fibromyalgia and Undifferentiated Connective Tissue Disease until I added my "disclaimer" tab not too long ago, and some of you may have just found this out while reading. I've always pictured myself to be temporarily stuck with these diseases while on my way to a miraculous healing, and for me to heal fully, it is important that I be part of the disease community as a helper to others who are suffering but not so much as a sufferer. Identifying too strongly with disease might have the ability to put me in the victim role, and that is a place where healing often does not occur.

Not identifying with disease does not mean I am in denial because I am doing more for my health and gaining more ground than most people who are healthy, which can be shown by the fact that I am no longer taking any medication for pain (while once on fentanyl and ketamine). However, it does mean that I choose to see myself as strong, fit, healthy, and all of the positive descriptives you can come up with on your own.

Perhaps when I am healed, I will become more involved in fundraising, research, public speaking, book writing, etc., but for now, it is necessary that I keep a healthy distance between myself and the diseases I have been diagnosed with, almost like an outsider looking in rather than a patient at times. I believe it is part of what allows me to maintain sound emotional and mental health despite chronic disease and what has allowed me to move forward in my life and attain my goals while riding the not-so-pleasant ride of chronic pain and illness. This, of course, is a personal choice, and we each must do what we feel in our hearts to be right for us as individuals.

Happy Healing!

 

 

P.S. Castor oil treatment day is an unpleasant but necessary part of Gerson Therapy. I'll be doing it once a week instead of the usual twice a week routine. 

P.P.S. My chronicbabe.com guest post will be up on October 7th.