Why Forgive?

"What you need is more understanding, not more battle plans." -Guy Finley

Life is ALWAYS teaching me. It’s a beautiful thing to have self-awareness and be able to take a good, hard look at oneself to move to the next stage of personal and spiritual development and transformation. Here is my latest learning experience: Forgiveness (this one took me several days of meditation – they aren’t always easy).

When we feel someone has wronged us, our first reactions usually come from our human, lower-level ego-selves and consist of anger, resentment, blame, bitterness, and even hatred, but if we can come full circle and learn how to forgive and even love those we feel have wronged us, lessons can be learned and personal-developments can be made. Where people seem to become stuck is in believing that by forgiving someone, they are saying, “What you did to me was acceptable.” This is not so. Forgiveness is an act of letting go and releasing all of those unhealthy emotions you have been carrying around. It is an act of great love toward yourself and your future health and well-being and the future health and well-being of any and all subsequent relationships you may enter into. If bitterness, anger, resentment, hatred, and blame are in our pasts, then they will inevitably sabotage our futures. Allowing yourself to feel the pain of hurt and loss without defending yourself against the wrong actions of others allows you to grow and mature without hardening. You have the choice to become stuck in your past or become better for experiencing it, learning important lessons about yourself, others, and the world around you.

Through a recent personal experience and after much prayer and meditation, I have come to the conclusion that it is best and healthiest to forgive AND forget when you feel someone has wronged you. In doing so, you are fully releasing any negative emotions you might be consciously or subconsciously storing in your mind-body-spirit. Remember, stored negative emotions create mental and physical dis-ease. Since everything that happens to us in this lifetime is a lesson to be learned, never forget the lesson that particular personal experience taught you but do forgive and forget the rest.

A Course in Miracles says, “As you see him, you will see yourself.” Love those who have wronged you for, as Jesus said, they know not what they do. Have compassion and full acceptance for the divine in those who have hurt you because they are usually suffering deeply and in need of our loving thoughts and actions versus our hatred and resentments. Be the bigger person. Always. If you can’t say, “I forgive you,” then at least let the individual know, “I care for you, and I send you love and healing.” It’s the right thing to do for yourself (it will set you free) and for the person who you feel has wronged you.

Happy Healing and forgiving.