Wednesday, November 23, 2011

My Personal Take on Gratitude this Thanksgiving - From Hospice to RSD




When I have worked with the vulnerable, oppressed, and disenfranchised populations (from the sick and dying to the poorest of the poor), I have always been astounded by the amount of gratefulness they express on a daily basis, never missing a beat on the gratitude drum. One very poor client in particular, whose relatively young son was dying from an aggressive form of lung cancer, would always answer, “I’m blessed,” when you asked her how she was doing. In the face of so much adversity and infinite amounts of sadness (with her own child dying in her home), she had the whimsical ability to make ME feel better after our phone conversations or in person sessions.

This woman had very little in the material department, but in the love and soul department, she had it all. What could a woman most people would view as lacking so much be so grateful for? She was grateful to be alive, to have food on her table, to feel the sun shining on her skin, to have a roof over head, to hear the birds sing, etc. Her gratitude list was essentially endless. She was extremely religious/spiritual and found much of her gratitude and happiness in her relationships with herself, others, and her higher power. This is an interesting concept when you consider the sad fact that many of those who are not lacking in the material senses do lack the gratefulness that should be in their hearts and radiating throughout their beings. If you are to ask me who I think is more grateful, I would largely say that those who lack materially are often (not an absolute) more grateful for what they do have. Perhaps, this is because they are spiritually rich or rich in loving relationships? Perhaps, this is because their material lacking has allowed them to reevaluate their priorities? All I know is that I strive to be more like them.

My clients and this disease have been my gratefulness teachers, and they have taught me that gratitude is an energy that helps you to discern between what is important in your life and what is not. It allows you to shy away from sweating the small stuff as you remember your bigger picture, which is framed by love, wonder, and awe. Gratitude allows you to become aware of your morals and values as your sense of purpose and the meaning of your life become amplified over the feelings of lack you are so accustomed to experiencing in this society. Focusing on what you are grateful for soothes your fears and sadness and tunes you back into your feelings of pure love and joy and the present moment.

When considering what to put on your gratitude list, most people immediately consider the big stuff – your car, your home, your job, etc. I, on the other hand, am grateful for the big AND small because the small have been taken away from me due to a “chronic, progressive, and incurable” disease. I am grateful for standing up in the shower, for being able to drive a car at all, for being able to wear socks on my feet, for being able to be off of medications, for being able to do a little yoga, for having energy that I once totally lacked, for a good night's sleep, for not having to go back into the hospital to get ketamine pumped into my veins, for being able to do my own shopping, etc. My list is truly endless this year as I take into consideration where I have been, where I am now, and where I am going.

When you are grateful, your perception of the world and your position in it changes from that of a position of lack to that of a position of abundance, and gratitude is by far the greatest multiplier of good. Practicing gratitude is a decision to give up your belief in lack and invest all of your stock in the belief of fullness and abundance. Want more to be grateful for? Be grateful for more.

P.S. Gratitude is gorgeous!
 
Happy Thanksgiving and Happy Healing!
 
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4 comments:

Shanna Sandmoen said...

Love this! I can totally relate. I am grateful to be able to go to the bathroom on my own, to have the strength to walk from one room to another, drive myself again, make my own meals, etc.

Tough Cookie said...

I'm so glad you enjoyed it, and I'm thrilled for the small things you can now do, too.

Mary Liselle Davenport said...

Love this Maria! Totally uplifting ... I was feeling down for a while today. Thank you for this.

Tough Cookie said...

You're very welcome! I'm so glad it helped you. I hope you feel better.