Confessions

Hi, healers! Here I am sitting on campus waiting for my next class to start, and I have to make a confession – my pain has been out of control lately. I’ve explained in previous posts that I majorly screwed up (there is no nice way to put it), and I slacked on managing my stress management and self-care routines. I’m in my last year of graduate school (I graduate in May 2011), and I allowed myself to get swept up in the workload and my tendencies toward perfectionism, control, and self-doubt. I was in such a wonderful place physically, emotionally, and spiritually at the end of the summer because I dedicated May-August to healing. No stress, controlled environment, warm weather (cold makes me pissed off and hurty – me no likey), time spent near the water and with loved ones, and meditation, prayer, and self-exploration were my 9am-5pm jobs. Once classes and my hospice field placement began and I became busier and busier, I unconsciously allowed what healed me to slip through my finger tips and out of my sight. Plus, what do busy grad students run on? Caffeine and sugar (vegan, of course, but still no good). Double plus, I was following the post-inpatient ketamine booster protocol, which consisted of sets of boosters close together in Philadelphia. A lot to handle at once.

It is an absolute struggle – no, seemingly impossible battle – attempting to stay positive when you are in so much pain that you cannot think straight, yet have to stay in your role of support and counsel to the dying and their loved ones, attend classes, and complete assignments. Literally, every ounce of energy I have had has been going toward remaining positive during the past two months, which is why I have been MIA.

I know that nothing lasts forever and the only constant in life is change. So how does that apply to my pain? What goes up must come down. I am searching for the lessons in this endless pain flare and readjusting myself accordingly. It is taking time and effort, but it is worth it to feel well and find balance again.

My goal in writing this is to let you know that I struggle, too, and that there is hope for all of us. There has to be.

Happy Healing!

My Kind of Valentine's Day

Hi, healers! I hope everyone is enjoying their Valentine's Day and remembering that the message to grasp on this often commercialized day dripping with materialism is that every day should be dedicated to love, gratitude, and appreciation of your loved ones, your higher power, your blessings and YOURSELF. It should be a daily practice and not a one day out of the year kind of deal.

I applied for my diploma this weekend. That's right! I will have a Master's Degree on May 14th, 2011!!!!! Hopefully, I will be an L.S.W. soon after (licensed social worker). Wish me luck!

Happy Valentine's Day and Happy Healing!

Raw Goodies

Hi, healers! I picked up some portable raw goodies today from my favorite local health foodstore that caters to the raw vegan.

Love Force Sun Flax Raisin "Bread" and Nature's Gift Hazlenut Cherry Raw Cookie: 

Go Raw Super Cookies and Foods Alive Mexican Harvest Flax Crackers:

Here are a few that are already in my school/work bag:

Here is a Raw "Chicken Caesar Salad:"

And I added all of this ontop of it! That is nowhere near a big enough salad for a girl who eats salad as the main course at every meal!

Shorter and his green juice:

Big girl:

Tomorrow I will be on campus from around 11AM-9PM, so I am packing lots of raw snacks and a BIG salad.

Happy Healing!



A Quick Post

Hi, healers! This is just a quick post. I have to run off to my holistic doctor this morning.

Here are some pictures from the last week. Enjoy!

Green apple, red pear, kale, and cucumber:

The finished product:

Addie eating her snack at "Starbus:"

Shorter, Addie's "Shoe Shoe" book, and me:

Definitely the dog of a grad student. Those are my books!

Happy Healing!